I’m 44 years old and have been perimenopausal for the last 3 years.

Content warning – this post discusses suicidal feelings.

Too young

For two and a half years, I battle with multiple GPs as I was repeatedly told “You’re too young”.   Despite my symptoms I was initially refused HRT and prescribed antidepressants.

The cognitive side effects hit me hard, low mood, extreme rages, brain fog, memory issues.  My libido dropped off a cliff early into married life and my confidence literally reached rock bottom.  Combined with low energy and constant niggles, I lost my spark for life – including my lifetime love for running.  This was not me at all.


My desperation point was asking my husband to hide the strong painkillers I used for hormonal headaches.  I was at a point where it would be easier not to be here to deal with life; of course, it was the hormones talking.  This was one of the hardest conversations I ever had to have.

Turning point

I was able to access private treatment, and the HRT prescribed was a turning point, it quite literally saved me.  Three months in and I hadn’t looked back, even taking over a minute off my personal best at my local park run.  There is life in the legs yet!

I am challenging myself to run (jog, walk and crawl!) a 100km race in June.  It is a nemesis distance for me, with the issues above, started but yet to finish.  Race to the King 100km is to prove to me, and others, hormonal changes doesn’t mean life has to stop.  With the right support and access to treatment, anything is possible!

Menopause Champion

Alongside the 100km, I am now a trained Menopause Champion and launching #MenoWalkAndTalk’s to support others who are either going this or know someone who is.

Here’s to raising awareness and showing life can blossom at this next chapter!

Follow Nicki’s journey and show your support as she fundraises for The Menopause Charity.

Menopause and mental health

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